A Month Without Sugar

I haven’t been posting here lately. I have been busy preparing for my upcoming book, which takes all of my free time, and I haven’t been running. So this blog has been left neglected and hibernating.

I have a particularly addictive personality. I don’t do anything a little, and I suck at moderation. It’s just how I am. This is not necessarily always unhealthy. It is apparently in how I run and how I write, both good outlets for borderline obsession.

Of course, it is unhealthy too. I have wrangled and outgrown most of my poor decisions; however, sugar became my latest substance addiction.

It started when I did my big diet in my 20s. I was at least 50 pounds overweight and got a personal trainer and started calorie counting and worked out at the behest of my doctor. I (shockingly) went hardcore with it, one might say addictive or obsessive, and lost the 50 pounds in about 6 months. I liked sweets fine when I was fat but preferred salt. However, once I cut the calories, I craved the sugar. My trainer said it was my body’s way of trying to supplement energy in a calorie deficit.

The diet passed, yet the sugar addiction only seemed to grow. I have always been an emotional eater, and I was no different with this new, increased love of sugar. No matter how healthy I ate otherwise, refined sugar was always too much of a part of my diet.

After failing to control my sugar addiction and reading about the chemical ways it is physically addicting and bla bla bla, I was talking about wanting to do a sugar detox. I wanted to cut myself off for a chunk of time so I could hopefully start eating it normally and in moderation. Little did I know that Michelle would hop on that bandwagon and want to swear off sugar for the whole month of June while I was pregnant.

But she wanted to do it, so I figured, fuck it, might as well. And we gave up sugar for the month of June.

The first two weeks were hell. I was angry and cranky. I wanted to cut someone’s throat for chocolate. I thought about it constantly. It felt like everyone around me was perpetually binging on the refined sugar I wanted.

Yet by the last week, it started to hurt less. I started to care less. I had my first sugar all lined up in my head (Kit Kat and Slurpee), but when the day came, I didn’t even want it. When I did finally eat it, it made me nauseous.

It was all very strange and wonderful. It may have just worked. I have started eating sugar again, groping at moderation. I can feel myself easily slipping back into habits, but so far, I have been able to control myself. I feel better. I don’t feel like I need it anymore, which was ultimately the whole goal.

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About ChrstnaBergling

Colorado-bred writer, Christina Bergling knew she wanted to be an author in fourth grade. In college, she pursued a professional writing degree and started publishing small scale. With the realities of paying bills, she started working as a technical writer and document manager, traveling to Iraq as a contractor and eventually becoming a trainer and software developer. She avidly hosted multiple blogs on Iraq, bipolar, pregnancy, running. In 2015, she published two novellas. She is also featured in the horror collection Collected Christmas. Bergling is a mother of two young children and lives with her family in Colorado Springs. She spends her non-writing time running, doing yoga and barre, belly dancing, taking pictures, traveling, and sucking all the marrow out of life. View all posts by ChrstnaBergling

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