4 Months

Four months post partum, I am finally starting to feel like myself. I am still much fatter and much slower, but my distance is coming back to me.

For January, my goal was to work on the 5 mile distance. However, in the first two weeks, I jumped to 7 miles. And it felt natural. It felt familiar. It felt better than the shorter distances, as it always did.

I have leaped ahead of my training schedule (distance-wise, absolutely not in pace), but I plan to stay here until I return to prepregnancy weight. Then I will move onto my coveted 10 mile distance. Hopefully, losing the weight in the interim will bump my pace up a bit. I need to shake two minutes per mile to return to my normal, three+ to achieve my ultimate goal.

We have also started working on our 10K route for run club. The full 10K route is quite brutal, so we have started with a 5 mile modification. The hills are still insanely challenging, and I still feel like a champion on the final spring.

I will consider myself back to normal (and where I want to be) when I am running a 5 mile, a 10K (run club), and a 10 mile run per week and when I am running in 11 minute miles. I would say that I am halfway there (much like my weight loss), but halfway seems far closer than when I started. I can appreciate the progress; I can see the light at the end of this tunnel.

I just keep pushing myself, obsessively as always. I run myself ruthlessly and punish myself for every pound.

I try not to focus on not being what I want or what I was; I try to accept that just because I am not there does not make my body wrong or repulsive. I try to permit myself the time to recover from creating a child. But I never was very good at being easy on myself.

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About ChrstnaBergling

Colorado-bred writer, Christina Bergling knew she wanted to be an author in fourth grade. In college, she pursued a professional writing degree and started publishing small scale. With the realities of paying bills, she started working as a technical writer and document manager, traveling to Iraq as a contractor and eventually becoming a trainer and software developer. She avidly hosted multiple blogs on Iraq, bipolar, pregnancy, running. In 2015, she published two novellas. She is also featured in the horror collection Collected Christmas. Bergling is a mother of two young children and lives with her family in Colorado Springs. She spends her non-writing time running, doing yoga and barre, belly dancing, taking pictures, traveling, and sucking all the marrow out of life. View all posts by ChrstnaBergling

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