March was another month of utter plateau. I worked, and I killed myself. I sacrificed sleep and time working or with my family. I even worked on the eating component, shifting to a high protein, lean, organic diet.
This is the first time in my life that I have behaved, eaten right, done the workouts, and it did not work. Usually, I earn getting or staying fat. It bends my mind to do what I am accustomed to working for nothing, to suffer for nothing. I have been so blindingly frustrated that I do not even really want to talk about it. I do not want to be just another fat girl ranting about how she can’t get the weight off.
I did ask my doctor about my issue. She is checking my thyroid, as we do every six months, so we’ll see what that says. However, I doubt that it is. She thinks it is from breastfeeding. She says a woman’s body usually holds 10-15 pounds of fat while nursing to keep producing milk. I cannot compare this experience with my last post partum because that is when I started my thyroid medication. She said if I maintain the proper diet and exercise, the weight will fall off easily after I wean. In five months.
But who knows.
I am going to just continue on, stay the course, and only shift my focus. Instead of counting pounds and inches (until my son’s birthday), I am going to focus on number of miles, pace, strength, endurance. If I can’t lose weight for five months, I will be stronger, faster, and in more shape before I get there. It is all I can do besides give up.
I feel trapped and very unsuccessful. Weighing in at the gym every Tuesday is always just a punch in the chest.
Total miles: 38
Total miles run outside: 38
Longest distance: 7.8 miles
Best times: 5K in 33:28, 7.8 miles in 1:47:25
Total weight loss: 26 pounds
Weight loss in March: 2 pounds
Total inch loss: 5″- 6″- 4″
Inch loss in March: 0″- o″- 0″