Coming Back to Life

Instead of devoting the month of January to my running resolution, I spent the weeks dying.  I picked up a rather wicked cold while on holiday in England. I did not, however, let even this resilient virus slow me. I hit the workouts with the ravenous desperation of someone who overindulged in every beverage, snack, meal, and dessert on vacation. At my sickest week, I crammed 8 workouts and a rest day into the 7 days. While I kept pushing myself, my performance was borderline tragic, and all it earned me was mutating my English ailment in a raging sinus infection.


I continued to workout more out of a groping for routine and an attempt at mental balance. Unfortunately, I found my crippled state pretty discouraging. Particularly with running. Running seemed to be so impossibly hard and so completely unenjoyable. I was starting to question if maybe my time with running had passed. If I no longer found joy in it, what would the point be? But maybe I should have realized that running 6 miles in the snow was a horrible idea while my sinus were so full of fluid that it was spilling into my ears.

However, pumped full of antibiotics and steroids, I am starting to glimpse health again. After a month, I was beginning to adapt to the illness and forget what it felt like to not be sick. I crested a peak this week though. Suddenly, my workouts felt incredible! Suddenly, I was able to push to my limit and not dissolve into a coughing fit that resulted in compulsive heaving.

It started with zumba yesterday. I danced in motions that felt natural to my body. I lost myself in the melody and the beat until I did not notice my heart racing or sweat pouring. At the end, I realized I was not dying. I finally felt good again. Sated.

Then tonight, I had an amazing run. Trisha and I hit the run club 10K hard, harder than we have in months. The weather was chilled; my lungs were cooperative. At times, it felt like my legs flew unaided.

In the shortest terms, running felt like running again. It was everything I remembered it to be and everything I was missing about it.

My breathing was not strangled; it flowed in a way to fuel me. My form solidified. I found my chest lifted, shoulders rolled down, hips tucked in above legs that found long strides. It felt like all the work I had been doing for months was finally evident. The way I ran just felt right. I even found clouds of float punctuated along the route. It had been so long since I had such a pleasant run that it almost felt foreign.

I know every run will not be this blissful. I know that extremely well. More often than not, the runs will not be so euphoric. However, I also know to take the experience, suck all the joy out of it, and stow it to remember why I do this to myself week after week.

Christina Bergling


Two survivors search the ruins of America for the last strain of humanity. Marcus believes they are still human; Parker knows her own darkness. Until one discovery changes everything.

Available now on Amazon!

TheWaning_CoverThe Waning

Beatrix woke up in a cage. Can she survive long enough to escape, or will he succeed at breaking her down into a possession?

Available now on Amazon!


About ChrstnaBergling

Colorado-bred writer, Christina Bergling knew she wanted to be an author in fourth grade. In college, she pursued a professional writing degree and started publishing small scale. With the realities of paying bills, she started working as a technical writer and document manager, traveling to Iraq as a contractor and eventually becoming a trainer and software developer. She avidly hosted multiple blogs on Iraq, bipolar, pregnancy, running. In 2015, she published two novellas. She is also featured in the horror collection Collected Christmas. Bergling is a mother of two young children and lives with her family in Colorado Springs. She spends her non-writing time running, doing yoga and barre, belly dancing, taking pictures, traveling, and sucking all the marrow out of life. View all posts by ChrstnaBergling

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